Soul Care #32: Wrapping Up II

Final Q&A, continued...

How do you deal with daily phobias?
Phobias are usually symbolic, because they are not logical. Flying, riding in elevators, germs, spiders, driving etc... are usually not the source of fear. Usually if you help a person walk back in their life, there are significant relationship issues of control with a person in their life. The phobia is a sign that their stress level is high and they live with a lot of fear. To practically help, if someone is afraid of driving, we can together make a list of 20 steps to driving their car. #1 may be: draw a picture of your car. #20 is freely driving down the highway. They cannot fathom #20, but they can start slowly with #1.

What if someone doesn't want to go to counseling?
If someone doesn't want to be there, counseling will usually not help. You can say something to this person like: "I want to get healthy. And I want you to come with me. If you don't come, I'm still going, but I'd like you to come." And then if need be, faithfully go alone and work on your own life. The change a loved one sees in you may convince them they also have a need.


How about non-Christian counseling?
Dr. C felt that poor Christian counseling can be worse than good non-Christian counseling. How can this be? Because although non-Christians cannot heal the wound, they can carry you well down the road to seeing unhealthiness and what isn't working. Yet when it comes to healing, a non-Christian counselor will not assume that you are compelled by the gospel to move beyond your woundedness to love others.

What are some good ways to learn more about myself?
Learn to be a good question asker and observer of yourself.
How do you react under stress?
What would most highly embarrass you? Why?
What do you do when you fail?
What characters do you most identify with in movies or novels? What do they stir in you?
What types of people or responses most get under your skin? Why?

I think these self-evaluative questions are a great way to end this series. Self-awareness is critical to living in the freedom of the gospel! And yet, the goal of self-discovery is not understanding, but LOVE. Loving God, and loving others, for His sake.

And that's a worthwhile journey!