I even took about 15 pictures of my cup to try to convey its awesomeness to you, but I can't seem to capture it in a worthy way.
Is it just me, or does anyone else feel that it matters what’s on your cup? Who else out there would rather wash your favorite mug than settle for the Walmart cup already on the shelf? I admit it, there was something in my soul that believed that if I held this reflective scene in my hands during my first meditative thoughts of the morning, I would begin the day with the right frame of heart and mind.
I’ve had 5 days with my new cup. I sip slowly, so I find I carry it around the house with me past my shower, past breakfast, through homeschool, and even past lunch some days. It’s not really about the coffee. It just makes me smile to look at it.
Anyone else out there have a silly attachment like me? A special writing pen? A favorite chair? View out a certain window? A particular candle scent? Favorite musician? It’s OK—come on out and say it.
This last week in homeschool, we’ve studied a story called Another Celebrated Dancing Bear by Gladys Scheffrin-Falk. It’s a story about 2 bear friends, Max and Boris. Boris is jealous because Max has a job dancing in the Russian circus which Boris would like to have. Boris tells Max how he feels, and Max treats him graciously. Max teaches him how to dance, and they get to perform together. Heart-warming little story.
As I was reading it with the girls last week, we noticed two key responses—
First, Boris was honest with Max about his struggle.
Second, Max treated his honesty with grace.
Simple enough, right? Easy to do...follow these simple steps... Sure! (??) There was an assumed trust between then that enabled their honest communication. Something could have gone awry at either point. If Boris didn't share with Max how he was feeling, Max couldn't know how to help him, and bitterness could have crept in. If Max didn't treat his honesty graciously, he would shut Boris down and harbor anger.
The story hit home especially for Kathryn who was bemoaning a friend who hurt her feelings. Here I was, suggesting that my 6 year old approach her friend and actually tell her how she felt. How often does the 35 year old follow this simple pattern?, I wondered. You see, it's much more than just deciding to follow good advise. There are hindrances, aches, wounded egos, and pain avoidance--(deep matters of the heart)--that keep us from living with vulnerable honesty in our relationships.
It seems to me that women especially struggle with this simple integrity in our relationships.
Raise your hand out there if you want to be characterized by grace, believing the best of others, and pursuing the heart. Of course, we do! And yet, as women, there are likely tendencies towards misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and assuming others aren't willing our best...
Someone recently make a comment about your child? About their kid's progress compared to yours? Comment about your kid's school or extracurricular activites? About your lack of participation in something? Comment about your parenting? Comment about how they parent which felt like an accusation? Comment about your husband? About a fun event you weren't invited to? Someone's Facebook status gave you a twinge of pop-up anger? Ever heard someone offer another a compliment you felt they didn't deserve? Or you deserved more? Ever felt unappreciated while you were serving? Someone else acknowledged instead? Oh, yeah, you're starting to feel it, aren't you? You know those little grudges I'm talking about, don't you?
Maybe this post is really just for me. If so, thanks for hearing me out. But maybe some others of you have sensed "bity" dissensions in certain relationships that you have never dealt with. Want to dance in the Russian circus? Let's examine our hearts. Let's struggle in the direction of integrity. Let's "deal with our stuff" before one another. Let's love boldly. Let's take the risky path of Boris and Max!
