And how is it not just an individualistic, Western, self-centeredness?
Someone asked me this question lately, and I thought it was worthy of some reflection. Here are my thoughts.
-It’s about LOVE. A person without a accurate view of themself, who gives out of ‘should’, out of a need for the affirmation of others, out of seeking to meet biblical standards in their own effort, is NOT freely loving, even if it appears so from the outside. Is giving out of ‘should’ better than not giving at all? “Man looks at the outer appearance but God looks at the heart.” Just as God did not desire sacrifices, but a humble spirit and repentant heart.
-This person described above is in serious danger of living a life of legalism & self-righteousness, and/or, on the flip side, self-condemnation and shame. These are enemies of the gospel.
-It’s about awareness, “know thyself” as Dr. Hannah and Calvin would say. Someone who does not know themselves (but has allowed themselves to be defined by everyone else) cannot know God very deeply, and surely doesn’t truly praise Him or need Him, because they don’t know their own dignity or depravity.
-Knowing your dignity- A person with a solid sense of self CAN lead to a profound level of worship, because you come to appreciate the unique ways you have been designed by God to serve His people. This person can serve, not from duty, but from a sense of deep joy and passion in the ways of His design.
-Knowing your depravity. Here’s a big one. A person who does not know themselves will have a shallow appreciation of their fallenness, and therefore of the gospel. Surely this is a lifetime process and we all grow in understanding our sinfulness over time. But a growing sense of self will lead to a growing awareness of selfishness, brokenness, etc… in the midst of the dignity, that can bring a growing awareness of grace.
It is a mistake to think that “defining yourself” is contrary to living sacrificially. Actually it is only a person who knows well the depths of their depravity and the glory of their God-given dignity who can live dependent upon grace instead of a false self, and freely give themselves away.
This is why “know thyself” is critical to the gospel.
No, I'm not done blogging, but this series has come to an end!
These "Bringing It All Together" posts began as a series written over the last 2 months, to consolidate the concepts I have been processing in my counseling program before I begin my internship. I started with the brain, but there was so much to say about neurology, it turned into its only mini-series! Most of these posts are my processed version of class notes practically applied. I tried to write about real people and real life, not principles up in the clouds. Many of these posts are “notes to self” open for your questions, comments, and challenge. I hope you found some thought-provoking, life-giving, hope-filled food-for-thought in this series!
Resources Referred to in this Series, in thought or quote:
Anatomy of the Soul, Curt Thompson
Couples in Conflict, Richardson
Emotional Resilience, Viscott
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Scazarro
Extraordinary Relationships, Gilbert
Family Crucible, Napier
Healing Path, Allender
Holding Hearts, Holding Hands, Phillips
Mindsight, Daniel Siegel
The Neuroscience of Human Relationships, Cozolino
Sexuality & Holy Longing, McMinn
To Be Told, Allender
If you are looking for more on a particular topic, or if you want to dialogue about any of this material, please email me at traciekwallace@gmail.com. I have also put all these posts together in one pdf document which I am happy to share.
I got used to that kind of talk, but that turns into reality here in a couple weeks once the girls go back to school. Real people seeking healing over real trauma, real suffering, real loss, real abuse, and real relational heartache. And that can feel a little bit overwhelming and a whole lot humbling. So I write these words for my own heart…
Remember, Tracie, before you walk into the room, that God is already working. It is not up to you. God alone is the healer, so you can boldly join with Him a moment when you know you don't have what it takes... and to remain confidant when all seems without hope.
Live in the present moment. Preparations, theories, class notes and case studies are good and helpful, and you need to learn some things. But when you walk into the room, throw away your script. Trust His Spirit within you to guide, reveal, and carry you in that moment. Trust your own heart, His image within you that enables you to relate, and His authorship of your own story by which you are being shaped. For He is answering that prayer you have long prayed, “Make me bold with strength in my soul.”
