What is Your Pain Threshold?

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Life, Emotions, & Actions

Thresholds for both physical and emotional pain are lower when we are functioning (with an unhealthy) dependency. Where members of a family are too quick to spare another pain, the resulting dependency tends to make the other's threshold fall. In addition, he or she will become addicted to having pain relieved through someone else's functioning.

"We cannot make another family member responsible by trying to make him or her more responsible. The very act of trying to make others responsible preempts their own responsibility. This is equally true whether the issue is study habits, drinking, or failure to take responsibility for one's daily life. Harsh scolding generally should not be seen as inflicting pain. It often succeeds in taking the sting out of their indolence, thus taking away the stimulus for motivation."

"There is however a way to be our brother's keeper… it require one to non-anxiously tolerate pain, and sometimes even to stimulate pain, thus forcing the other to increase his or her threshold."

Here's a great quote:

"Sticking someone with the pain of responsibility for his own her own life is far more "sobering" than giving the person black coffee afterwards."