Assumption #1: Behavior is purposeful.
Assumption #2: Change happens in relationships.
Assumption #3: People are ambivalent.
Assumption #4: Not all problems are 'solvable'
Assumption #5: Good counseling is about lending hope.
Assumption #6: Change often begins in a dramatic moment but real change is ongoing.
Assumption #7: Knowledge alone doesn't change.
Assumption #8: Emotions reveal our fundamental idols. Many traditions paint negative emotions as bad things to be slapped over with truth-- 'If I tell myself what is true, it will change the way I feel.' The problem is that this person is missing what their emotions are meant to reveal. Giving voice to your negative feelings is not the same as being ruled by them. The "service engine soon" light on your dashboard is not the problem with your car. It reveals the problem. Often we repent of the light, but never see the real problem. If you are apologizing for yelling at your spouse, but you do it over and over, you may be repenting of the light on the dash. Emotions help you see the 'sin under the sin.' Why is my heart angry? You have to get to the underneath question if you are really going to change.
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