Assumption #2: Change happens in relationships.
Assumption #3: People are ambivalent. People want to get better, and they don't want to get better. Maybe you want a better relationship with someone, but you fear what it would cost you to be honest. So you recognize you both desire and run from hope.
Hope is dangerous. Consider Jesus by the pool of Bethesda. Jesus finds a man whose life is practically over. Jesus asks him, "Do you want to be well?" When the man responds with an excuse instead of a resounding "yes," we see that he has become accustomed to and defined by his struggle. He has turned the way he has protected himself become his friend rather than something to walk away from. We see this too in the slaves of Egypt. They want to be free, and yet want to return to captivity.
In every human, in every culture, in every organization and company, there is both dignity and depravity. Then tension between the two makes people ambivalent. A lot of counseling approaches look at only one of these. Are you the sinner? Or are you the Beloved? You are both.
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