Here were our prof's thoughts about the assumptions he has before he walks into a counseling conversation:
Behavior is purposeful. God’s actions are purposeful, and as beings in His image, ours are too. Everything a person does will make sense if you understand the context. You do things for a reason. These are not 'excuses' or taking responsibility away from that person, but you are seeking to understand what is under their behavior.
If there is a behavior you say you want to change, but can’t seem to stop, there is often a more important goal underneath that behavior that is driving your actions. For example, if you have a messy desk, perhaps you don’t want people to expect much of you because you feel overwhelmed. Or if you have a hyper-clean house, maybe you are trying to control a manageable part of your life because other more important things in your life are out of your control. When puzzled by someone’s behavior, you can ask—“What would make this make sense?” Unless you figure out why that behavior is ‘working’ for them (or you!), there won’t be much change.
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