#1- Jesus, Where is Your Light?

I love many things about living as a foreigner in China. The spring cherry blossoms warm my hearts as the winter ice melts away. Yet, one aspect of the physical environment drives me crazy—the horrendous air quality. The China Lonely Planet guide equates breathing the air in our home city and smoking 70 cigarettes a day. One such hazy summer day when I could feel the particles in my lungs, my daughter Kathryn noticed a strange object in the sky.

“Mommy, what is that gray ball up there?”
“Oh, that? That’s the sun.”
“That’s silly, mommy (giggling)—That can’t be the sun.”
“Well, Kathryn, it’s hidden by a cloud of smog. If we could rise above, it would blind you to stare into it.”
“But mommy, the sun is stronger than the clouds. If that’s really the sun, then it should shine through the clouds so we can see it.”

As I reflect on her words, I realize that some days when my heart is like the Beijing air. The sun shines above me, yet somehow does not penetrate the cloudy smog within. Rather than gazing upward, my eyes are cast downward to the dim shadows of the daily grind and unexpected concerns. My fuzzy walk-by-faith vision fails to caught sight of His presence and purpose. Can you relate?

We find the theme of light skillfully woven all throughout the scriptures, as early as the first created wonder in the opening of Genesis when God separates light from darkness. The Old Testament saints knew God’s presence as a pillar of light in the wilderness, and the Psalms repeat the refrain—The Lord is my light. During the gloomy season of Israel’s disobedience and eventual exile, the Prophets offer continual rebuke to those follow the darkness of wicked nations. Yet, prophetic words of hope speak of the coming day when light will rise in darkness, and gloom will become like midday (Isa 58:10).

By the opening of the New Testament, John makes it clear that Jesus Himself fulfills the prophesied return of God’s light. Sadly, many in Jesus’ day missed His arrival. As John reports it: The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it (John 1:5). Even after Christ’s resurrection, Paul testifies about the same tension of faith for those who trust in Him: For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then, face to face (1 Cor 13:12). The grand story concludes in Revelation when the lamp of the Lamb replaces the light of the sun, with the promise that the Lord God will illumine them. (Rev. 22:5, italics mine).

Where do you and I fit into this grand biblical time line? We live between the first and second comings of Christ, longing to know in full the promises we now hold in part. As we walk the journey of faith, we experience days of blazing brightness, yet others of shadowy confusion. We trust we will enjoy complete illumination in His presence one day, but what about today?

To the darkened, weary soul, Jesus floods the shadows with His life-giving rays. I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life (John 8:12). As His words pour over my thirsty soul, I sense both hope for today and longing for another Day. My murky vision begins to regain focus as I cry out, It is You, Jesus! You are the Light! As we look to Jesus, we see the One who keeps us from tripping through the darkness today and guides the weary soul to a final rest in Himself.

Months after the dialogue above, I glance out my window overlooking more hazy, soupy skies. I see the path below sprinkled with people going about their daily lives, seemingly unaware of the gloom above. Are you among them? Look up! Kathryn was right. The Son is stronger than the clouds.

Our Lord,

You are our Light and there is no other. Yet, sometimes our hearts bear an overcast haze and we cannot pierce through the smog. We beg you to come and shine your light afresh in our hearts. Help us to look to you alone in the sunshine and the clouds.

Amen.

For further reflection

1. Up for a challenge? Using a concordance, read all the uses of the word ‘light’ traced throughout the Bible. You will find it a rich and fascinating study!

2. Spend some time in prayer today asking God to point out the cloudy areas of your life where His light has yet to penetrate. What fears, struggles or daily concerns cast your gaze away from Him?

3. As you have reflected this week, what fresh insight about Christ have you gained? What do you need to confess and ask of Him this week? Spend time in praise of God’s unfathomable wonders revealed in Christ, our Light.

Summer Reflections

A Disclaimer for the post below:
I am all for language learning! I have invested years in the Chinese language, and my children attend local Chinese pre-school. But on that long and arduous road to fluency, you must find things to laugh about!

In 3 days, we will leave for 5 weeks in the US. Though we have many reasons we want to go, we are also being "kicked out" due to visa restrictions surrounding the Olympics.

Over the summer I have been reflecting on looking for Christ in the daily rhythms of life. As a mom of young children, I don't usually have extended times with the Lord. Currently out of the baby phase, the ability to study and reflect is growing, yet I still find my heart plenty distracted by the sundry details of family life and living cross-culturally.

So when I say "looking for Christ in the daily-ness of life", it's something I feel I'm not great at doing. Despite this, I wrote a series of devos this summer as an attempt. Efforts at seeing His light shed upon the daily conversations and happenings of my mom-of-young-kids-in-China world. Eventually (and about the time the girls finished Chinese pre-school, and thus my "free time" was again swallowed up), I decided to give up on this task for now. But I though I might post them anyhow. Maybe when I get better at it, they would turn into a book of some kind and really bless people. But for now, I'm content with experimenting and growing a bit more myself! :)

Look for my first one above. I welcome your comments, edits, and wisdom!

The Benefits of Ignorance

Usually, when you think of living in a foreign culture, you imagine the stresses of having to live and communicate in a foreign language. But actually, there are many benefits of misunderstanding. Theirs, and yours! Let me illustrate.

You are with your children in a crowded public place. When approached by a particular older gentleman, your ever-astute and always-honest 5 year old says, "Mommy, that man is really ugly." You see, you are SO glad, he has no idea what she just said. I could give paint this scenario 100 times over! Oh, the embarrassment I have been spared!

You are in a taxi with a lead-footed driver. He seems annoyed by the mere fact that you are in his taxi and every red light is a personal affront. You lean over to your spouse and say, "I think he has major anger issues." You can say whatever you want, and he is clueless!

You are at a local market buying groceries. The local seller sees you and automatically pegs you as a stupid foreigner. Do you let this bother you, and stomp away in disgust? NO, you lean in and listen. She thinks she's going to get away with overcharging you, but she's actually letting you know the honest price. So see, assumed ignorance is working in your favor!

This time you are at another market with a friend buying clothes. The seller quotes you a price that you know is too high, but how high? You're not sure, but luckily, you and your friend can have a private consultation right in front of the lady!

You are at the post office with a package slip. There are 12 counters, labeled 1-12, and you have no idea which one is the right one. Do you cower in fear? NO, you don't even need to ask. Just approach an empty window and hold up your slip. They assume you don't speak a word. And so they take the slip for you to the appropriate window. Walla! Language ignorance, working for you. (OK, sometimes things don't go this smoothly. But sometimes, they do, all because you look like you don't know any better!)

Oh, and it also works in other countries, too! Where in one country you were the outsider, now you and your spouse share an insider language that is useful for private conversation in front of children and mother-in-laws! (Just kidding GG!)

Oh, the multiple blessings of ignorance! :)

I.O.U.S.

I recently heard someone share a 4 sentence prayer that I found so insightful (or at least it hits a bullseye for my heart) that I thought you might enjoy it too. The first letter of each of these verses from Psalms form the acrostic I.O.U.S., so I can actually remember it. It seems to hit so many of the things I tend to struggle with...maybe you too?

Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain. Psalms 119:36
Yes, Lord, help me to love your Word!

Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Thy Law. Ps 119:18
Lord, if you would not give me your eyes, I would miss all your treasures there!

Unite my heart to fear your name. Psalms 86:11
Teach me to gather my infinitely distracted heart to worship you!

(Here's the best one!)
Satisfy us in the morning with your lovingkindess, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalms 90:14
Lord, let me know a depth of your love that causes me to break forth in joyful song!

Haven't Seen the Girls in Awhile?

OK, GG, Nana, I know its been awhile since pictures. Here they are! This pic was taken before the first day of VBS this week. Yes, we have an international VBS here this week! The girls are loving it, but since it's an hour 20 minutes from our home, it's taking everything out of me! We're taking advantage of the new line 10 subway route, and it is clean and well air-conditioned. But 2 little girls on a crowded subway at rush-hour... I'm not complaining. OK, I suppose I am. But it's a fun opportunity for them.

You Know Your Kid is Growing Up in Asia when...

1. ...when your child checks every stall of an empty bathroom to count how many "sit down" potties and how many "squatties".

2. ...when she turns down carrot cake... (of the Asian variety--a fried taro root patty)

3. ...when at dessert time you say, "No, honey, one red bean bun is enough for today."

4. ...when your child's excuse for not sharing on the playground is, "But mom, they don't speak English!" ...and she's right.

5. ...when the rite of passage from childhood to maturity is the able use of chopsticks.

6. ...when, during a major holiday, you actually give your 3 year old a real lantern to parade around with, and a real lit candle inside it. What was I thinking?

7. ...when the summer ice cream flavor options are "green bean", "lechee fruit," "corn,"
and "pea".

8. ...when her pre-school classmates have make-up school days on Sundays, and they really all go.

9. ...when you hear them singing Chinese songs in their sleep.

10. ...when, on the way home from the grocery story, your child asks, "Mom, can we ride a rickshaw home this time?"

From the Mouths...

It's not that I sit around with a pad of paper waiting for my kids to say something funny. But it seems this week, there have been more 'quotables' than normal! :)

Quote #1
A few nights ago I gave Kathryn an alarm clock and told her to keep in on her dresser. Instead she put it by her bed, accidentally pushing some buttons, and reset the clock. I had just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to set the clock, so I was pretty frustrated and snapped at her. The next day I felt I should apologize so I told her, "K, I'm sorry, I was frustrated the clock got reset but mommy shouldn't have spoken harshly to you. Will you forgive me?"

"Well, mommy, don't you think there is another time you should apologize for yesterday?"

Quote #2
The other day I was asking Ellie if she wanted to start "school with mommy" in the Fall. (Not talking about formal schooling here, just purposefully teaching her the things I had already taught Kathryn by her age!) She said "no". Kathryn encouraged her, "Hey, Ellie, it's FUN! You get to spend special time with mommy and read fun books!" Ellie remained firm-- "no!" So I asked her, "Ellie, why don't you want to start school with mommy?"

"Because I do NOT want to turn into Kathryn!"

Quote #3
Tonight when I put the girls to bed, there was a goodie bag from a friend's party sitting on the dresser. When I turned to the leave the room, K said,

"Mommy, take that bag with you! There's temptation in there!"

Big Improvements

In April when I came through the new terminal of the BJ airport, I thought, "Oh, goodness. This is very first impression the world will have of you! You must do better than this!"

Yesterday on our way through, we quickly noticed some significant changes...

1. Pristinely tidy!
2. Beautiful landscaping
3. Smiling and helpful attendants...even in the bathroom!
4. "We're concerned for the environment" stickers on the paper towel rack.
5. NO squatie potties.
6. All the English signs were properly translated.
7. Many English-speaking, well-dressed young ladies waiting to assist us.
8. Smiling security and customs agents and a button you can press to rate their service.

Not just the airport... I hear that July 22nd begins mandatory every-other-day driving restrictions based on license plate number. Oh, glorious oxygen!

I truly do hope that things go well here during the Olympics. They have had further hurdles to overcome than any other previous Olympic location, so kudos for the improvements... Hoping they last beyond August!

Quote(s) of the Day

We're finally back home after 3 weeks away. I'm crashing soon but had to pass along my two favorite quotes from our day of travel.

"Mom, I learned something new last night. I learned that if I lay down and close my eyes, it really helps me go to sleep."

"Due to flight delay, we are sorry to announce that your flight will be delayed."

Romantic Kafuffle

WARNING: This post is a bit girly :)

During some of the evenings here in our home-away-from-home, we've been checking out the movie selections of our friends. I've been wisked back to Junior High with the discovery of the Anne of Green Gables series. I admit it. As a young teenager I devoured the 8 Lucy Maud Montgomery novels before the mini- series premiered. Watching it again, I suppose that a huge percentage of all my young ideas about romance came straight from these books. I wanted to be just like Anne, intelligent and witty, right down to the flowing red hair. Was there ever a more daring and clever maiden than Anne Shirley? Or a more dashing and valiant young bachelor than Gilbert Blythe?

OK, be honest. Don't you think my Jim looks just like Gilbert? And don't you think Jim & I had a fairy-tale romance of the Anne and Gilbert scale?

To digress for a moment...
Among the many impressions watching it this time around, I found this one rather humorous... I have long had in my head a vocabulary word--kafuffle. In my mind, it meant something like "I'm in a bad fix (kafuffle)" or "get me out of this mess (kafuffle)!" I never knew where it came from, and I never found anyone who didn't give me a strange look when I used it. And then there it was. Remember the scene where Anne sells Mrs. Lynde's Jersey cow instead of her own, and she and Marilla go to apologize? Marilla comes to the door and confesses, "It appears that some sort of...kafuffle has come our way." I couldn't believe it. Anne even passed along some of her "high-fluting" vocabulary.

Out of curiosity, I looked it up. And it is a real word. So says the online Merriam Webster dictionary, it means "disorder or commotion". Also spelled gefuffle, cerfuffle, or kurfuffle. Here is your vocabulary lesson for today.

Back to the romance. My thought this time around: Why in the world did it take Anne so long to realize she loved him? I've never known anyone who was so confused and so unable to identify her own desires. It's completely obvious they are destined for each other, the minute he calls her 'carrots' and she breaks the slate over his head in grade school! I have to admit I replayed the final scene over the bridge several times. But don't worry, my beloved... (Here I'd like to put our new vocabulary word to use.) Even though our romance was nothing short of a massive kafuffle, I would choose you over Gilbert any day!

July 4th, Diversity & the Olympics

This year we spent July 4th with an unlikely smattering of friends. We had a BBQ, complete with watermelon, ice cream and a few fireworks brought by a Chinese friend. "Isn't this what you are supposed to do on your holiday?" he asked. None of us Americans (just 2 families out of many) had thought of buying fireworks. Anyhow, it got me thinking about where I've spent July 4th celebrations in years past.

July 4, 2007- The day we moved into our new apartment in China...so we just marked 1 year back in China!
July 4, 2006- Singapore
July 4, 2001- China
July 4, 2000- China
July 4, 1999- China
July 4, 1998- China
July 4, 1997- China
July 4, 1995- China
July 4, 1994- Estonia
July 4, 1992- Costa Rica

So, July 4, 2008 marks 11 years spending Independence Day in a country besides my "motherland" (so they call it in Asia). That does something to you.

Today I took the girls to an International Fellowship, an expat church here in this city, just to see what it was like. It was gloriously diverse... (Living in China isn't actually very diverse. Usually, you are the minority, and everyone else is Chinese.)... Lots of Africans, Lots of Hispanics, A mix of Asians, and very few Caucasians. We prayed for Zambia and Zimbabwe, 2 countries that I can't say I'd thought one iota about since I can last remember. I was struck again how wonderful it is to share fellowship in Christ. An instant kinship with people from all over the globe who are brothers and sisters by 're-birth'. Is there any other venue in the world where you can walk into a room of strangers and share immediate, real concern and love for one another?

Some may say this happens during the Olympics. Diversity, absolutely. But love? ...
Speaking of the Olympics, the excitement here is palpable. Unfortunately, as China welcomes the world, it is kicking out its foreign residents...making it next to impossible to renew a visa this summer. So we're planning a short jaunt back to the US in August till the visa situation clears. We'll be watching the games just like you--on TV. There is part of me that thinks it would be fun to stay around, just to say I was here. But another and possibly wiser part of me thinks its a good time to get out of town.

Good-Bye Makayla

Look at those sweet girls! In the middle is Makayla, the daughter of my sweet friend Amy. Amy and I graduated from TCU and moved to China the same year ('96). We're both still here! We enjoyed 10 wonderful days together this last week, and Kathryn was very sad to see her off this morning-- thus the half-sorrowing look.

On the internet front, we've discovered that our speed dramatically improved after the nearby college-students vacated yesterday for the summer. This area has 10 universities within a short distance and we all share the same S-L-O-W connection. It gave me compassion for all you moms living in China out there to whom I send large files. I'll try to make them smaller :)

Same Kind of Different As Me

Yes, our internet connection is as slow as molasses. So I am totally demotivated from spending my time waiting online. But I'll try to post once a week...

Another book I have to mention--Same Kind of Different As Me. You probably have heard of it and already read it yourself, but you know these things are a little slower to cross the ocean. A friend brought us this book as a gift a few weeks ago. You know how people say, "I couldn't put that book down!"--I've never been this kind of person. But really--I couldn't. It is one of the most well written books I have read in a long time. It's an amazing heart-engaging story about the relationship between a wealthy art dealer and a homeless man. Fabulous. Finish it in a day if you have a lazy Saturday. Maybe its just because I went to TCU, (and so did the author, thus the setting for the book), but his vivid descriptions came alive. Laughed out loud. Wept. Put it on your summer reading list!