The Fascinating Human Brain- Part 11: Children Feeling "Felt"

*Researchers have demonstrated for many years that it is CRITICAL to your development to have some early relationships that are attuned, in other words, in which you feel you were held within another person's world. You felt "felt."

Most of the effects of this phenomenon, (technically known as attachment) happen within the first year of your life. Follow these following research discoveries and be utterly amazed at the ways that God made humans to connect to one another from the very beginning of life!

In a research study known as the "Infant Strange Situation", one year olds were separated from their mothers and then rejoined with them to see how they reacted to the leaving and the reconnecting. This particular study has apparently been done thousands of times throughout the world with uniform results.

Many children had a secure attachment. They were disturbed when the mom left; they were relieved when she returned yet were able to quickly return to play. As you might expect, these children had parents who were sensitive to the baby's needs and effectively met them.

Other children had a avoidant attachment. They showed no signs of distress when the parent left and they ignored the parent when she returned. Naturally, these parents did not respond to their children in the home, but rather ignored the child or responded indifferently. Neurologically speaking, this child's brain minimizes the activation of (UNDER-active) attachment circuitry. In other words, their brains are wired to not care or feel the pain.

Other children had a ambivalent attachment. The child was distressed before the separation occured, and was not soothed by the parent when she returned. Contact with this mom does not provide relief. These parents in the home provided inconsistent connection, at times attuned and other times not. Thus this child is clingy-- with a brain that is wired for an OVER-active attachment circuitry.

Other children had a disorganized attachment. When this child's parent returns, the child is confused. They may approach the parent but then withdraw, clinging or crying while also pulling away. In the home, these children have parents with a severe lack of sensitivity to their children, the child finds them scary, or the parent themselves is often scared. The other three children developed ways of dealing with a sensitive, disconnected, or inconsistent parent. But this child can find no effective means of coping and their attachment strategies fail them entirely.

If you think this is interesting, wait till tomorrow when you'll hear about the children who were studied in the Infant Strange Situation who have been followed for more than 25 years.

*The material for this and the following post come from the book Mindsight, by Daniel Siegel, which is an absolutely amazing, must-read book!