Bringing it all Together, part 1: Redemption in Relationships

OK, I'm making a transition. I hope you've enjoyed the brain series. I started with that not as a statement of importance, but there were so many parts to it, it seemed it needed it's own separate series of posts. But now, I move on to some big picture nuggets about counseling, starting with PEOPLE. What is the nature of people?

That might seem a silly question, a boring philosophical question, but it makes all the difference in your approach.

Imagine the trajectory of these varying views of people:

-People are a collection of biological phenomenon. (Thus problems are met with physical, chemical, scientific research answers.)

-People are fundamentally GOOD. (Thus problems are about restoring lost goodness.)

-People are fundamentally BAD. (Thus problems are about finding the 'disease' and killing it.)

You get the point.

SO, what do I believe about people, in broad strokes?

People were created by God as the apex of His good creation. People were created (among other things) to mirror a primacy of relationship seen before creation in the Trinity. Three persons, Father, Son & Spirit, exist in perfect unity, perfect love, and yet are distinct from one another. Thus God created humans with the ability to image His own relationality, which is connected but diverse; together but separate. Adam and Eve shared this kind of intimate relationship with God in the garden.

Yet in the Fall, we see breakdown of relationships. Adam and Eve's relationship with God is broken. Their relationship with each other is broken. And their own self-perceptions about the trauma that has just occurred are broken. There is no more trust and intimacy; but rather shame and blaming. And the story they are telling themselves is all messed up.

Where do I see this?

In Genesis 3,
-When God asks Adam where he is, Adam reveals that there is now fear and shame over his nakedness between Him and God. Broken.

-Both Adam and Eve blame someone else when asked. "The woman you gave me..." "The serpent tricked me..." Broken.

-In the curse we see the introduction of control and domination in the marriage relationship. Broken.

-And curiously, there is a complete lack of honesty about what has happened. Neither Adam or Eve stops and asks, "What have I done?" "Why did I give that kind of answer?" "What is going on inside of me?" I am being slightly speculative here, but not so much, because it's played out continually in the rest of the Bible story and in every human story since. We often live in a state of complete unawareness and dishonesty about why we do the things we do.

Thus I'm asserting that the gospel (in part) is about restoration of relationship: God to human restored. Human to human restoration. And human to self restored.

You'd like more biblical evidence? Sure.

Matthew 22.

Jesus affirms the need for restoration in these three relationships by his expression of the greatest commandment. (And these weren't so new, as He was quoting from Deuteronomy and Leviticus.)

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind... (Human to God restored)
Love your neighbor (Human to human restored)
...as yourself (Relationship with self restored)

Ephesians 5.

Be imitators of God (Humans to God restored.)
As dearly loved children (This is how you should view yourself. Relationship to self restored.)
And walk in love. (Relationships with others restored.)

Thus one KEY way of looking at the purpose of counseling is about restoration of relationship-- People growing to live freely, lovingly, honestly with God, with others, and with themselves.

And doesn't that just ring true in your gut? That all of the struggles of your heart are not isolated and segmented but connected to God and others?

-That when a child misbehaves it's not just about that child?
-That when you identify the most troubling stories of your life that they involve pain with other people?
-That the patterns of the ways that you relate to other people aren't just "true" (i.e. "This is just my personality") but they were formed in a particular context with stories attached?

Tomorrow I'll address a somewhat provocative topic: Why God alone isn't enough...