All the tell-tale signs were present. Difficulty falling asleep, waking with anxious thoughts in the middle of the night, replaying past conversations in my head, imagining future ones with both glowing and dooming results. The fear of man.
What are common fears you tend to trip over? Failure? Rejection? Disappointment? Tragedy? Things you cannot control? Being unprepared? Financial distress? Others opinions? The list goes on and on! In a given week, if I'm honest, I believe my heart jumps to all of these places!
I was recently encouraged by some insights from Luke 8--I'm not the only one. Everyone in this chapter is afraid!
-The disciples are afraid of the storm on the Sea of Galilee; and then they are afraid of Jesus' power over the seas.
-The demons are afraid that Jesus will throw them into the abyss.
-The crowds are afraid of Jesus' power over demons and beg Him to leave.
-The hemorrhaging woman comes trembling before Jesus when she has been discovered.
-Jairus's family is afraid their daughter will die.
Do you see it? Everyone is afraid. What sets some apart is not whether they are fearful, but what they do with their fear. Some come to Jesus with their fears, and others run away from Him.
Some run to Jesus with their fear:
-Despite their fears of the storm, the disciples come to Jesus for help.
-Despite her fear of being found out, the bleeding woman falls down before Jesus.
-Despite their fears of their daughter's death, they beg Jesus to help.
Some run away from Jesus in fear:
-The demons beg to be sent away from Him.
-The people who see Jesus cast out demons beg Him to leave their region.
Faith is not about the absence of fear, but what do I do with it? The question seems to be--do I let fear draw me toward Him, or send me running from Him? Here seems the fundamental difference between Peter and Judas. Both were afraid and denied Him. But Judas ran away to make himself right, and Peter humbly came toward Him to receive.
When every person encounters the possibility of freedom in an area of fear, the expression of unmerited grace, there is often a fundamental disbelief. This is too good. I'm too ugly. I've done nothing to deserve this. Or the flip side of the coin--I don't need this. I can be good on my own. In that moment, do I run towards grace to receive, or away from it? All of life is a journey where I am either running toward Him or away from Him. Everyday there is a choice, over and over again, to move toward the One I fear... that would free me... or to run away and remain in bondage.
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2 comments:
Thanks for your thoughts! You are a great writer. I am so often overcome by fear. Fear of not understanding the language here, of not being understood, of being judged, of others opinions, of finanacial stuff, etc and the list goes on and on. I so need to run to him with all of this, and experience His grace and freedom. I see so much bravery in you, though. You have been facing up to some difficult things, and meeting them head on. I've seen you grow so much, and have enjoyed it. You are special!! Glad you are my friend!
Yet again, Miss Tracie, I'm sooo ministered to through your observations of Scripture and your eloquent look at your own heart. Thanks for the challenge to run to Jesus with my fears and experience His grace! I need it! I miss you, friend. So glad I checked in at your blog tonight...always find your posts so encouraging. Love you, wendy (wcolgan1@gmail.com)
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