After a particularly dreamy week imagining some of the ways God may want to develop and use my love for writing, Kathryn brought me back into reality today.
It was a particularly rocky morning with the girls and Jim sat them down with clear directives before he left for work... A "You better obey mommy or else" kind of speech. Kathryn bid him farewell by the elevator door. Just before he disappeared, Kathryn cupped her hands in front of her mouth as if to share a special secret, though not beyond earshot. "Daddy, mommy is not very good at discipline." He gave me a knowing glance as the doors closed behind him. Kathryn came back inside as I began to probe further. "What do you mean, Kathryn?" "Well, mommy, sometimes you say you are going to discipline us, but you don't."
The way I see it, there are four possible interpretations here.
1. On the heels of my parents trip, she is mourning the showering of grandma and grandpa attention. In other words, it's my mom's fault.
2. Having just returned from a trip myself, she means that daddy gave them far more treats and goodies than mommy every does, i.e., it's Jim's fault.
3. She is quoting what her little friend has said before about her mother--(I have in fact heard her friend say this)-- Thus it is her mother's fault.
4. It's the painful truth.
Ouch.
It goes without saying that Kathryn and Ellie did not get away with anything today. But how quickly my attentions are diverted! Sometimes it takes a wake up call from my own precocious 4 year old.
Here's my struggle--I don't know about you, but I just don't have a very black and white personality. I probably linger too long thinking about all the factors that may contribute to my children's behavior. It just seems to me like factors such as "missed her nap" and "mommy's been gone for 5 days" ought to be considered when it comes to discipline. But on the other hand, when my 4 year old tells me I stink at it, it seems I might need to grow--you think?? Any veteran parents want to comment here?
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4 comments:
I think this blog will be an amazing read for your girls when they are older. Your descriptions of your daily life with them will remind them again and again how much you love them. What a gift for your girls!!
Thanks for your encouraging words Kelli!
first of all, HILARIOUS! 2ndly, I'm not a veteran parent so, No comment! :)
If your four year old says so, you should probably take it seriously. :) I think it's important to strive for consistency, so that the exceptions are exceptions, and not the rule. As my kids get older, they still try to pull excuses like, "But I'm tired" and I remind them that we still have to obey when we're tired. I think it helps me (though honestly I'm the enforcer in the family so I don't have a hard time laying down the law) to remember that my obedience to God shouldn't be dependent on how I'm feeling or what's happened to me today. Sure, it makes it harder and God understands that. But with our kids I think it's an opportunity to say, "I know it's harder to obey when we're tired. It looks like we need to ask Jesus to help us." Keep the standard and show them where to go for help. Will they really understand the spirit filled life at this point? Probably not, but it's good to build the foundation.
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