Eeyore Parenting

One on my beloved daughters can be excessively...negative. Grumpy. Debbie Downer. Eeyore-ish. The other day she came home from school and I asked her to tell me about her day. At first she said, apparently without thinking, "It was fine." But then she caught herself... and began a litany of complaints equating it with the worst day of her life. I'm not belittling her feelings, but when you hear this often, you begin to think that perhaps there is a little drama... a little over-exaggeration going on.

And then you might start trying to change her perspective. And you respond with sympathy, validation, but also want her to think about what good things she could report. Surely this wallowing in negativity isn't good for her. (Certainly feels strangling to me.) And you might try to start helping her solve her list of problems. Seeing them from a not-so-bad light. Talk about all that we can be thankful for. And then after a while of that, meeting with great resistance and a marked tenacity to hold onto all that was horrible in her day, you might get frustrated. And a certain tone might come out in your voice. And then you might try to redirect her... a positive activity. A yummy after-school snack. An encouraging activity. But alas, the world is not spinning rightly on it's axis today and there is nothing you can say that is helping. And you might begin to see things pretty dimly yourself. And you might feel like giving up.

You just might.

Or, you might do something altogether different. What if you let her have her feelings, and you didn't try to convince her of all the created goodness demonstrated in the world today... And what if you just took her in your arms and hugged her tight, and let her know how much you love her and how great and special you think she is, and held her for a good while...

...and she she might just pop up after awhile, when she's ready, and she might skip off, carefree and lighthearted, ready to run outside and play.

She just might.