Wrestling with God

This was me this week, duking it out with Him over thoughts about the recent earthquake. I came across this excellent interview on NPR given by John Piper after the 2005 tsunami. Thought you may enjoy it too, if you ask questions like me...

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Interviews/1678_The_NPR_Tsunami_Interview/

Hymns of Ter Steegen

On my recent trip I received a gift from the friend I stayed with—though usually the guest brings a gift!—a wonderful book of poems. I am not a scholar or a poet; not widely-read or consider myself a great discerner of fine literature. But in my humble opinion—these are good! They are of the heart. Here is one I picked for today:

The Home

Though who givest of Thy gladness
Till the cup runs o’er
Cup whereof the pilgrim weary
Drinks to thirst no more

Not a-nigh me, but within me
Is Thy joy divine;
Thou, or Lord, has made Thy dwelling
In this heart of mine.

Need I that a law should bind me
Captive unto Thee?
Captive is my heart, rejoicing
Never to be free.

Ever with me, glorious, awful,
Tender, passing sweet,
One upon whose heart I rest me,
Worship at His Feet.

With me, wheresoe’er I wander,
That great Presence goes,
That unutterable gladness,
Undisturbed repose.

Everywhere the blessed stillness
Of His Holy Place—
Stillness of the love the worships
Dumb before His Face.

To Thy house, O God my Father,
Thy lost child is come;
Led by wandering lights no longer,
I have found my home.

Over moor and fen I tracked them
Through the midnight blast,
But to find the Light eternal
In my heart at last.

They Planted a Tree!

The view out the window of our apartment building has been a dirt field. (You may remember seeing it pictured in the backdrop of the smoke tower which fueled our winter heat.) I have often wondered what they were going to do with it…surely build more apartments I suspected. After the coldest part of the winter, they starting bulldozing the land and clearing away the huge rocks. I assumed the building supplies would show up the next day, yet I had a secret vision. A little park would do wonders for this community. A small lake, some ducks…a short walking path, a small playground…lots of flowers! Well, it’s not a park, but I was pleasantly surprised the day they planted a tree. One lone, misshapen but undeniable tree. Yeah! More oxygen! Kathryn and I have also taken great interest this week as it seems they have cleared more of the land for a garden of sorts…not sure what they are growing, but looks like a miniature farm plot. Not quite a park, but better than building construction!

See the little lone tree?

Earthquake Stories

Because of the nature of certain efforts, detailed reports about earthquake relief are hard to come by. But here are a few stories we here from our friends who live nearby and are enabled to help in specific ways, written by Nancy Beverly.

On Tents and Soccer Balls
If you were asked to guess the earthquake survivors’ two most sought-after items, would you say water and medical supplies? Food and blankets?

Would you believe…tents and soccer balls?? Several teams would attest from their experience that the need for fun and laughter is as great as basic survival needs.

One group of athletic minded college guys were inspired to bring a bunch of sports equipment so the refugee camp’s children could have the chance to feel like kids again. Imagine their surprise when the adults gathered around and their faces lit up at the sound of lighthearted laughter at play!

Another surprise was how their games somehow freed the children up to share their traumatic experiences that up until that time they hadn’t shared with anyone else. Lin had been in the camp with the other children for at least a week before the roving soccer camp arrived. As a result of this “soccer therapy” she was able to reveal that she had lost a sister in the earthquake, something she had not told anyone before that.

It is evidence that the necessities of the soul such as connecting with others and the promise of tomorrow - as seen in the laughter of children - can help soften the blow of losing loved ones, homes and material possessions. It serves as a reminder that life will indeed hold something to look forward to again, as long as there are children and soccer balls.

The Teflon-Handed Matron
“I kept giving her stuff, then I’d turn around and she’d be empty handed again.” Finally he realized this woman was giving the supplies away as quickly as she received them – nothing seemed to stick, it just slipped into someone’s else’s needy hands.

This was somewhat typical, and Doug was touched by the people’s not grabbing things and sharing with each other. One blind woman was just lying on the side of the road, dusty and weak and unable to move or see what was happening. But it appeared that the community looked after her, even though she didn’t seem to have any family there.

Their biggest frustration was knowing they didn’t have enough tarp for everyone and wondering how to decide who gets it and who doesn’t. At one point they sadly had to just drive away from a waiting crowd, rather than give tarps to a small fraction of the group and risk being mobbed. When they pumped up and distributed soccer balls, they were very enthusiastically received and shared.

Having gone as a team of two men and two home-schooled sons, it was a lesson unlike any you’d ever find in a textbook: generosity in the midst of need, contentment, and gratitude.

Silly moments & Tiny victories

Today, K, E and I were deep in discussion over the very important topic of middle names. Kathryn turned to Ellie and said, "Ellie, what is your middle name?" I began pondering a profound question. Have I ever taught this child her middle name? I can't remember!

Ellie said, It's not Elizabeth. No, we affirmed, it's not Elizabeth (K's middle name)
Then she said, It's not Kaitlyn. We chimed in--It is! It is Kaitlyn!
Ellie corrected us again, No it's NOT Kaitlyn. I am Ellie BELLY!

We all doubled over laughing. I truly think this child does think her middle name is "belly"-- We've called her this since she was a little baby. How do you think this will go over when she's 15?

On an encouraging parenting note, we experienced a small moment of rejoicing yesterday. We were at a truce in a popsicle war. K & E both insisted on the red one, and rather than dictating terms of peace (which I am often inclined to do) I let them battle it out until someone relented. After 5 minutes of "I want the red one! ... No I want the red one!", Ellie turned to Kathryn with a big smile and said, OK, you can have the red one Kathryn. I looked at her, and she gave a giant smile like she knew she had just slayed the "selfish" monster, and we held an impromptu party in the kitchen.

Today, touched off by the popsicle incident, K relinquished the pink bowl to Ellie with a smile!

Even the smallest signs of fruit on the road to faith and obedience are worth a celebration!

Feel Invisible?

I do at times! Here's a brief word of encouragement for the invisible mom today...

Fishy Life Lessons

Three weeks ago, our helper brought 3 goldfish home from the market along with the broccoli and mushrooms. "They were on sale", she told me. A sweet sentiment, but she bought no bowl or fish food. By the next morning, one of the three was floating at the top of the measuring cup. Daddy disposed of him, and we made a family trip to the store for fish food and a bowl. We returned home and held emergency "Fish Care" school. By morning of day 3, another fish had perished. I was the lucky one to come across him first, so I flushed him down the toilet.

"What did you do with him, mommy?" Kathryn lamented through tears.
"I took care of him."
"I mean, what did you do with him?
"I sent him swimming down the potty."
"Mommy, that is not taking care of him!"

I can't blame her. I too remember bitter tears over my first dead fish. I also remembering burying him in the backyard and watching in horror as the cat dug him up for a morning snack.

After our second brush with death, we were determined to give fish #3 (affectionately named Clover) the best chance we could. We cleaned his bowl every other day and fed him every morning. And among the three, Clover had a relatively long 2 week life span. Yet sadly, he too came to his demise.

Was I stupid to promise more fish? Should I have washed the bowl and put it away on the shelf? For five and three year olds with newly-discovered pet responsibilities, there is no going back. So yesterday we returned to the market for more. Kathryn picked them; just 2 this time. A bigger bowl, more rocks for the bottom, and a fancy bubble maker to help them breathe easier. Only the best for our fish.

In the transfer from plastic bag to bowl, one fish (since appropriately named Floppy) made a quick escape into the sink where I had just washed the bowl with hot soapy water. Those harried seconds couldn't pass quickly enough while Kathryn screamed and I played chase. Luckily, Floppy finally landed back in the bowl. Determined to life on the edge, later that afternoon Floppy jumped out of his bowl and landed in the trashcan. Someone must be looking out for that little guy, because he has twice been saved from an early grave. After the second rescue, Kathryn squealed in delight "Mommy, I'm so glad I chose an exciting fish." (The second fish, named Sleepy, is a little less exciting.)

An hour later while I was at the computer, Kathryn emerged from her room with a decided pouty face.

"What's wrong, Kathryn?"
"Mommy, I miss Clover."
"I'm sorry you miss Clover. But don't you like Floppy and Sleepy?"
"Not really. I've been doing stunts and ballet dances for 10 minutes, and they aren't watching me at all. Clover used to love watching me perform. He would stare at me for hours. Clover was my best friend ever."

Not much I could say to that. I had no idea that Kathryn and Clover had been bonding over her afternoon performances.

This morning we discovered together that thankfully, both new fish made it through the night. (We now have a plate on top of the bowl to help Floppy stay put. He might die of a concussion, but not slow asphyxiation on the floor in the middle of the night.) We fed them, and Ellie sang them a lullaby. Kathryn informed her that they did not understand her, because these fish speak Chinese. For now, all seems right with the world.

As a parent it feels that fish provide softer-landing discussions into the heavy topics of life and death. Sometimes telling a 5 year old about 300 primary school children crushed to death in a collapsed school building is just too much for her little heart to hold. Yet our unexpected forage into the world of scales and fins has provided more meaningful conversations and insights than I imagined. Maybe we'll keep them for awhile.

Earthquake Update

Thanks for your prayers. All our friends in Chengdu and Chongqing have been accounted for, though some cannot return to their homes because their buildings are considered unsafe. Yet in the face of a major tragedy with at least 10,000 known dead, please pray that God will use this event in the hearts of the Chinese people. There is much pain and yet openness regarding the bigger questions of life among this country which has not experienced such a large scale national tragedy in some time. I was able to share the gospel with my helper this morning as she poured out her concerns and fears. Here are some things you can pray specifically:

1. Please pray for the rescue teams to be able to reach all the affected areas (some are still unreached as the mountainous roads are badly damaged) to rescue those who may still be alive.

2. Pray for food and clean water to be able to reach the affected areas, as there are many people who have lost their homes and are without food and water.

3. Pray for God to comfort the victims and their families, that they will experience His love and peace in this difficult time of their lives.

4. Pray that Christians in China will respond to the call of care and help for the victims.

5. Pray for our friends in Chengdu and Chongqing to experience peace and calm, and they will have the strength to comfort others who are grieving and fearful in their midst.

6. Pray that this disaster will cause the people to think about life and death, and draw them to the Savior.

Yes, we felt it...

At 2:28pm a 7.8 earthquake hit western China, and we felt the tremors about 1000 miles away! We are fine. All I noticed was the obvious swaying of a hanging lamp but Jim's 33 story office building was evacuated. I did wonder for the first time, however--Exactly how well are these buildings constructed?? But I figured, looking out at the 10 major skyscrapers under construction within view of our bedroom window...none of them were toppling over. So I stayed in and let Ellie finish her nap. I've yet to hear whether or not there was major damage in Chengdu, where we have several friends...

K is 5!

Here are all the little butterfly princesses!

















Wrapping caterpillars...



















Putting Cinderella in her castle



























































































































































































I ran out of activities and was fretting at the end of the party, but they danced happily for 30 minutes. Truly silly girls!





































































Plum tuckered out.

Victorious Langauge Day

Kathryn's Quote of the Day:

"Mommy, I'm a really good Chinese speaker. But when I'm saying it, I just need you to tell me what it means!"

More pics

I promised more pics from my parent's trip--here's more than you asked for!














Come all this way and where do the kids want to eat? KFC!?














Nana always let's you lick the spoon



















We had a "in-between" bday party--1/2 way between E & K's bdays.
Here's pin-the-hat-on-strawberry shortcake.



















Everyone got into it...














































Fun new spring dresses!














Having a double party is exhausting!














I posted a few already from the Forbidden City;
It was the whirlwind tour, but here are a few more





































The guard changing shift















This is as close as we could get to Tian An Men due to a scheduled Olympic activity.












The bridge between the Square into Forbidden City














Ellie and her teacher



















Ellie's classmates eating breakfast















The "xiu xi" (rest-time) room. She loves the pink beds!












Kathryn's teacher



















Few of you knew that the Great Wall was first ascended by cable car.

























Beautiful day at the Wall- beautiful weather, no crowds!

















































Equally unknown fact that original Great Wall warriors reached the bottom by Toboggan.














Gardens at "old" summer palace














Cherry blossoms in full bloom














Had to take them to 'hot pot'














My friend Katie came along and helped us bargain at the pearl market. She's good!