Redemption and an Apple Tree

April 24, 2007, the fifth anniversary of the birth of our first born daughter,

Hannah Kathryn Wallace.

I have done many different things over the last five years to commemorate our daughter’s short life. In my heart, I feel stirrings to write something—a bit of poetry, a tribute, special memories… But this year on her birthday, two weeks from another international move and all the overwhelming details daily confronting us, there feels no time to be introspective or (should I have something to say), time to articulate it well. (Not to mention I spent the better part of the day in the ER with Ellie, who took a bad fall and bit a nasty, gaping hole in her tongue.)

But the day was not lost on the tyranny of the urgent alone, and Kathryn was the impetus for the day's precious moment. When I got home from the hospital, I sat down on the couch and decided to tell Kathryn that it was Hannah’s birthday. She knows all about her sister and we have discussed it many times, and at that moment it felt like I was talking with a good friend rather than a 3 year old.

Then all of a sudden, Kathryn asks

“Mom, can you eat an apple right now?”

“Why do you want me to eat an apple?”

“Because we need some apple seeds to plant an apple tree for her birthday!”

So we shared an apple, and (from a particularly fruitful apple) acquired 9 seeds, and impromptu took them down to her ‘garden’ to plant them. Can you think of a better way to celebrate Hannah’s birthday, than plant an apple tree?

No matter that apples don’t grow here in Singapore. Never mind that she planted them in a shallow bit of dirt in a garden area designed for shrubs and flowers. She planted 9 apple seeds, (and having faithfully watered them the last 2 days), is convinced that time is all it will take before we’re enjoying the fruit. And honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if, should we come for a visit in 10 years, there’s an apple tree bearing fruit right there—just because God just might do something like that to delight the heart of a child.

I never would have believed it if you had told me 5 years ago that I would be sharing about Hannah’s life (let alone planting an apple tree!) with her sister. A bit of redemption in the best 5 minutes of my day. I can imagine there is more to come.

K proudly showing off her planted seeds

Fear of Fire

Feeling afraid of fire is not necessarily a bad thing, but somehow this came about quite significantly for Kathryn. It all elapsed over 2 particular events-- First, the unfortunately lacking memory of her mommy during a viewing of the Bambi movie (it's been 20+ years-- how was I supposed to remember a forest fire?), and the second was a children's book we received as a gift. The book was a tragic love tale between a family and a beloved dog. The family adopted the orphan dog, and the dog gave his life one night rescuing the family from a fire in their home. (In retrospect, I question whether this truly was appropriate for 3 year olds as the story claimed!) At first K was fascinated with it, but the more that she processed the story she grew more and more fearful until we finally gave the story away to some friends.

Over many months since these two unfortunate events, I have tried in vain to quell her fears in a healthy way. She has a video called "Camp Harmony" that came in the mail weeks ago, and she refuses to watch it because there is a camp fire on the cover. What to do? A friend told me that a local fire station it open for children on Saturdays, and while daddy was away, I decided we should check it out.

At first it seemed like a big bomb. Kathryn wouldn't walk NEAR the fire truck. But after a little more time and little coaxing, we had a good time. For a moment, it even seemed that she was going to agree to ride the hook and ladder truck (I don't know my technical fire truck terms, but you know, the part where they raise it up really high and spray the water out.) We even got the safety harnesses on, but freaked out at the last minute. That's OK. We made big progress.

The mark of success came for me when she said as we were leaving, "Mom, I want to be a firelady when I grow up. Or maybe I'll be a penguin."

Here are some fun pics:














We started with the ambulance. It seemed safer.


















They had these great uniforms for kids to try on!



















Ellie wasn't so interested in the hat














K climbed aboard the truck!















Ellie thought the truck was pretty cool!



















See the ladder? K is asking daddy to take her back next weekend to ride it!

Easter Pics

Jim is due back in a few hours, so we've almost come to the end of another daddy-gone marathon. Thanks for your prayers for us! I haven't had any energy to write anything at the end of the day-- but here are a few fun pics from our Easter. Hope yours was rich with meaning and delight in our Savior and hope!