What Is a Good Marrige?

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. --Joseph Barth

I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them-- it was the promise.
--Thornton Wilder, The Skin of our Teeth

Here I'd like to begin posting some thought-provoking thoughts on marriage.
Let your thoughts be provoked. Tell me about it:)

Remember the Tinman

This Tracey Chapman song so captures the killing of the heart and the fight to win it back...

Remember the Tinman

There are locks on the doors
And chains stretched across all the entries to the inside
There's a gate and a fence
And bars to protect from only God knows what lurks outside

Who stole your heart, left you with a space
That no one and nothing can fill?
Who stole your heart? Who took it away
Knowing that without it you can't live?

Who took away the part so essential to the whole
Left you a hollow body
Skin and bone
What robber what thief who stole your heart and the key

Who stole your heart
The smile from your face
The innocence the light from your eyes
Who stole your heart? Or did you give it away?
And if so then when and why?

Now all sentiment is gone
Now you have no trust in no one

Who stole your heart
Did you know but forget the method and moment in time
Was it a trickster using mirrors and slight of hand?
A strong elixir or a portion that you drank?

Who hurt your heart
Bruised it in a place
That no one and nothing can heal
You've gone to wizards, princes and magic men
You've gone to witches, the good the bad the indifferent

But still all sentiment is gone
But still you have no trust in no one

If you can tear down the walls
Throw your armor away, remove all roadblocks, barricades
If you can forget there are bandits and dragons to slay
And don't forget that you defend an empty space

And remember the Tinman
Found he had what he thought he lack
Remember the Tinman
Go find your heart and take it back

Who stole your heart
Maybe no one can say
One day you will find it I pray...

Real Apology?

Can you make out the words? Couldn't seem to make it bigger.






Mouse: I'm gonna start apologizing to all the people I've insulted by telling them, "I'm sorry that you were offended."

Pig: Is that a real apology?

Mouse: No. That's what's so great. It allows me to retain the impact of the original insult while tacking on the implied bonus insult of, "You are an oversensitive ninny."

Pig: But that's kinda rude cause it's sorta saying the guy is too dumb to realize that.

Mouse: I'm sorry that you were offended.

Pig: Apology accepted.

I came across this cartoon at J. Lee Jager's site. It's almost too true to be funny.

How many times have given an apology where you wanted to seem sorry but you really weren't? Just as concerned about preserving your view as you were giving them the impression that you regret hurting them? Ouch.

How many times have you received an apology where the person didn't own any offense? Where the apology really felt like, "I will be careful to handle you more gently next time, because I in my maturity can stoop to your excess sensitivity." Feels lousy, doesn't it?

I'm thinking this is a good measure for whether I have truly forgiven:

What occurs in my heart when I picture walking together alongside them to the foot of the cross?

Fam Fun at the Farm

Last Saturday, before going to Aunt Julie's house to watch the *surprise* Longhorn victory, we stopped by Ekert's Farm just over the border in Illinois. Grand fun! I love*love*love pumpkin season!

For the Love of Autumn

Growth Has a Name

So lately since I'm studying counseling, I'm asking the simultaneous question, "What does the Bible teach about how people grow and change?" It's a question that is key to counseling too, as how you answer it reflects on your philosophy of counseling.

Anyhow, I was studying a word this week. I can be geeky like that. It's the word "tsemach", Hebrew verb for "grow," literally sprout up or spring forth. It's used in a lot of planting metaphors. Here's an example:

Isa 44:3-4
3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
4 They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
like poplar trees by flowing streams.

Is that how you would describe your spiritual growth experience? (Me neither.)

But here's the nugget that encouraged me, the "bring me to Jesus" thought for today.

The noun form of this word is "branch."

Isa 4:2 In that day the Branch of the LORD will be beautiful and glorious,

Jer 23:5-6
"The days are coming," declares the LORD,
"when I will raise up to David a righteous Branch,
a King who will reign wisely
and do what is just and right in the land.
This is the name by which he will be called:
The LORD Our Righteousness.

The "Branch" is a messianic name that speaks of Jesus.

So in the Bible, the concept of growth, tied to this "springing forth" image, we see that growth is not just a nebulous concept.

Growth has a name. Growth is a person. It's Jesus.

Lighter Side of Counseling IV

So how do you and your spouse deal with conflict?
Barbed-wire fence?
Silent avoidance?
Yelling match?
Revenge?
Conflict? What conflict?

Lighter Side of Counseling III

So what do you do with anger?
Spit it out? Tuck it in? Clean the house?

Lighter Side of Counseling II

Yes, let's just say, it took me awhile to get there!

The Lighter Side of Counseling I

In which part of your heart is this sign hanging?

Happy Birthday Pags!

Love you dad!

Local Fun

Yes, we experienced our first Saint Louis Cardinal's game. Unfortunately, most of the pics didn't turn out But I love this pic, because because it shows the famous arc in the backdrop.














The next exciting local development is that we found a hot pot! Actually we ordered it online, but all the fixings are here in China town! Happy birthday daddy!



















Next stop, the zoo in Forest Park. A fabulous FREE zoo! Only problem was that we came at 4:30, and it closed at 5. But we made the most of our half hour!










































































































































And now for the sad part of our trip:




















Lifetime Lost Pair of Sunglasses # 5, 671.

Faust Park

Saint Louis has been so green and the weather has been so pleasant lately, we have enjoyed checking out many of the local parks. 2 Saturdays ago we went to Faust Park which also has a Butterfly House.

















































Is that camouflage or what?






































OK, the butterfly house! Not great pics, but enjoyed trying to capture snapshots of as many species as possible:















The Blue Morpho, Costa Rica













The Paper Kite, Malaysia














The Malachite, Costa Rica
















The Owl Butterfly, Central/South America

















The Ruby Lacewing, Asia?













Orange Tiger, El Salvador














??