To Chew On Today

"Our highest calling is not the work we do, but the God we worship."
-John Hannah

Still Waiting For Spring

As promised, GG, Nana-- pictures from our getaway.

First, I want to say--it is freezing cold here! The heat was shut off 2 weeks ago and the high today was 38! I'm wearing three layers including a wool sweater, and wool socks (inside!) and my toes and my nose are numb. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

But we had a fabulous time on our trip. We came back Wednesday night, but it has taken me several days to catch up. We went to another city to visit some friends, Casey and Mandi Morgan. We spent the summer with them 3 years ago when K was 3 and Ellie was 1 1/2 . Mandi was a tremendous encouragement to me that summer, a God-send, a breath of life. They have 4 kids-- 2 daughters our girls’ ages. That summer 3 years ago, K & Emma fast became sweet friends and have since continued to talk about the memories hoping to reconnect. This week they played for 5 days straight...this time with Ellie and Millie too. Such fun! Their city is further south so the spring buds were already in full bloom. At least it is spring somewhere!

Taking Off

I'll be offline for several days as my hubby has planned a "surprise family getaway." I suspect it has something to do with our 10th anniversary, so I'm dying to know! :) I'll post pictures for grandmas when we return...

Eschatology 101

Mommy, I want all the bad things to GO AWAY.

Ellie, did you know that one day Jesus WILL make ALL the bad things go away?

Is that true mommy? Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surrendered

Spring!

"O, wind, if winter comes, can spring be far behind? --Percy Bysshe Shelley

Sweet Grace

This week, I have been sick. Sinus infection. It’s been a no-makeup, pony-tail, no-distinction-between-pjs-and-day-clothes week. And this can make a momma… grumpy.

There are exacerbations, of course. Like on Sunday when the girls chose dresses that needed to be ironed, and hairstyles that required…time. And time is exactly what there wasn’t enough of on Sunday morning. Especially considering other important things that needed to be done, like choosing my own clothes and fixing my own hair. But then… I wasn’t sick on Sunday, so I guess it’s not a good example.

Ok, here’s another one…from tonight. So this clearly qualifies as sickness-induced-impatience. When it’s bed time, there are a lot of things you need. Stories, songs, prayers, water, oh-i-forgot-i-need-to-go-potty, teddy bears, dollies, i’m hungry, lambies, blankies, just-one-more-song?... and somewhere in there, mommy gets impatient.

Or try this one. A pile of toys-book-dress up clothes-dolls-beads-blocks on the floor. One simple instruction. Everything on the floor has a home—Find it. I need go no further down this road. You see? My impatience is completely justified! … right?

Insert a few other scenarios that don’t paint momma in such a good light.

So Kathryn says to me at bedtime, “It’s OK mommy. I understand. I feel that way when I’m tired too.”

Grace is always undeserved, but much sweeter when you see how needy you are.

I Am Not

"And he confessed, and did not deny... "I am not the Christ." --John 1:20

I Am Not

"I am not;" O words unwelcome
To the lips of men--
"I am not;" O words that lead us
Back to God again!

Speech of him who knows the pathway
To that refuge sweet,
Where is covert from the tempest,
Shadow from the heat.

Speech of Heaven, from wise men hidden,
Unto children taught;
Few the words of that great lesson,
Only "I am not."

Heart of man, another language
Is thy native speech,
Spoken by a thousand races,
All alike in each.

"I am,--" rich, or wise, or holy--
"Thus, and thus am I;"
For "I am," men live and labor,
For "I am," they die.

For "I am," men dare and suffer,
Count all loss as gain,
Toil and weariness and bondage,
Sin and grief and pain.

In the blessed Gospel read we
How a rich man bade
Christ the Lord and His disciples
To a feast he made.

Well it was to feel the prophet;
Thus the rich man thought,
but amidst his wealth and bounty
Lacked he "I am not."

Then there came a sinful woman,
Eyes with weeping dim--
"I am not," her heart was saying--
She had looked on Him.

He beheld her broken-hearted,
Ruined and undone,
Yet enthroned above the angels
Brighter than the Sun.

All the while in dust before Him
Did her heart adore,
"I am not," that song of gladness--
"Thou art, evermore."

For His heart to hers had spoken,
To His wandering lamb;
In the speech of Love Eternal,
He had said "I AM."

Now she thirsts no more forever,
All she would is given;
None on earth hath she beside Him,
None beside in Heaven.

Oh how fair that heavenly portion,
That eternal lot;
Christ, and Christ alone, forever--
Ever "I am not."

--Heinrich Suso , c.1295-1366, German mystic and Dominican friar

Simple Beauty

Simple Beauty. It’s one of those areas for which I’ve come to develop great appreciation while living in China. A rippling lake, pristine sunshine, a clear blue sky… are all treasures which can do wonders for the soul!

Yesterday morning during “mommy day”, I took the girls to a nearby park for a picnic. Apparently this park has been near us the whole time we have lived here but we hadn’t discovered it. It was awesome! Plenty of room for kicking a ball around, running free, playing hide n seek, or strolling by the lake. When we arrived at the water, there was a roped off area with a sign. It was one of those times I decided not to look at the sign, because ignorance avoids accountability. (This may not work well for life, but it's ok for a picnic in the park!) We picked a flat rock and had a delightful picnic. Apparently, the ducks were not familiar with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Do you think ducks in China eat rice?

Pictures for the grandmas:
























































"The many clouds of life can no longer fool me into denying that it is the sun that offers warmth and light.”
–Henri Nouwen in Beyond the Mirror

What's Your Message?

We’ve all heard them. Good Sunday sermons that tell us what we need to do. Be more patient. Give more money. Be more considerate of other’s needs. Be more courageous like David. Be more bold like Paul… Positive messages of moral encouragement.

Here’s a sample: On Generosity

-Moving story about very generous person. (Good speaker; good hook!)

-Passage about generosity.

-We should be like that, shouldn’t we? Yes, we all should be. (Audience feeling guilty)

-More stories (Audience entertained, feeling slightly less guilty.)

-We walk away—Yes, I should be more generous. I will be more generous.

The stories certainly aren't the problem. It’s not that I shouldn’t be more generous. And it's not that I don’t need to be brought face-to-face with my selfishness. It’s just that when it ends there, it doesn’t bring me to Jesus. It might make me feel guilty, or maybe prideful if I happened to demonstrate exceptional generosity today. It might make me strive harder to be a better person, but it doesn’t send me running to the gospel. I walk away thinking about me-me-me.

The truth is, this kind of message might bare no distinction from a Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or Universalist one. What sets our Christian message apart from ‘good moral encouragement?’

Here’s the kind of message my heart hungers for and wants to grow in offering to others:

On Generosity Revised

-Moving story about very generous person.

-Passage about generosity.

-We should be like that, shouldn’t we? Yes, we all should be. (Audience feeling guilty)

-Speaker identifies with struggle, confessing own failure to give as should.

-Speaker brings us to Jesus! “Though he was rich, for our sakes, He became poor, that through His poverty, we might become rich!”

The eyes of the heart are lifted up—"Jesus, there is no giver like you. I want a generous heart like yours! You not only give us an example, you empower us unto overflowing generosity and guarantee that one day we will have that kind of heart! We worship you—make us like you!"

Doesn’t that make your heart sing Him-Him-Him?

And here’s the thing. These messages are not just for Sunday morning. Some kind of message is pouring out of my mouth and life everyday—words and actions toward my children, husband, friends, and the watching world. Does my message speak grace-gospel-Jesus?

Let your message be Him-Him-Him—the same one your heart wants to hear!

We Give Thanks

Oh, how easy it is to say. But is that what He sees in my heart?
"May the words of my mouth AND the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."