Prayer Request!

We are all set to send our docs to apply for visas tomorrow morning, but just discovered that I have no more empty pages in my passport! How could we have missed this? We waited as late as possible to apply with the hopes of getting an extended visa beyond the Olympics. And there is enough time for that. But definitely not enough to send away for new pages too. So since its 11:30pm, I’m going to choose not to freak out, but ask you to pray and go to bed instead. I suppose the worst it could mean is that I send Jim and the girls ahead of me, and take a personal retreat in Colorado while I wait for my passport.

#3 Jesus, Be our Shepherd!

This is the third devotional in a series, explained in the former post on July 30th.

When I first moved overseas after college, I brought along an enormous cross-stitch as a creative outlet—a pastoral natural scene rich in color and symbolism. In the picture, countless sheep donned the backdrop as Jesus stood large in the forefront. In one arm he grasped the strong shepherd’s staff, and in the other, a defenseless baby sheep. At the top were these simple yet profound words—Lost no more. As I lived out my first two years in China, God freed me from my previous high regards of my own spiritual maturity and the title of the cross-stitch took on new meaning for me. I wondered, By the time I finish stitching this, will I understand more about resting in the loving care of my Shepherd?

Since that time, I have become a shepherd to a little flock of my own. As a mother I often feel the weight of responsibility to nourish and protect my children from harm. Yet even more having become a shepherd of sorts, I daily feel the need for a Great Shepherd who will guide my steps as I guide theirs. Everyday brings forth need for spontaneous wisdom and instant sage counsel that I lack! I too am just a little sheep!

In John 10, Jesus reveals one of the most comforting pictures found of Himself in the Scriptures—He is our good Shepherd. It is challenging for our Western, 20^th century minds to grasp what the 1^st century Jew heard when Jesus related this teaching. When Jesus called Himself the Good Shepherd, He spoke to an agrarian audience that daily lived in the world of smelly sheep. They knew the vulnerabilities of the flock and the dangers of exposure to carnivores and the elements. A shepherd was a worker of humble means, yet the learned Jew would have known God’s condescension as He often referred to Himself as a Shepherd in the Old Testament (Genesis 49:24; Isaiah 40:11; Ezekiel 34:1-12). They would have been familiar with commanding figures such as Moses and King David who were referred to as shepherds of the people of Israel. (Numbers 22:17; 2 Samuel 5:2; Psalms 78:71) The imagery was strong in their minds, and we may likely imagine Jesus teaching against the backdrop of a local flock.

As I reflect on this scene in John 10, I am reminded of something the New Testament saints also experienced. Life on the ranch with the sheep is different than I first imagined. In our Christian circles, we often hear talk about the abundant life. Doesn’t your heart delight in the images of quiet waters and green pastures? Surely He will only lead us to places of rest and delight, right?

In fact, Jesus does speak of the abundant life in John 10. Yet its easy to overlook the mention of His impending slaughter (as a sheep Himself!), wolves who daily prey on the vulnerable sheep, and hirelings who bolt in fear at the first sign of threat. Jesus cautions what all lesser shepherds must learn—we live amongst the real threat of attack from an enemy who seeks and plots our demise. The enemy is pleased to isolate us from the flock of God’s people leaving us alone and defenseless. Comforted? Welcome to Shepherding 101!

Though these warnings at times send my fearful heart running for cover, Jesus offers other words of peace in the midst of this grim scene. Consider His comforts with me afresh.

Our Shepherd is genuinely committed. He is not like any parent, leader, or pastor who has failed you in the past. Though the hired hand escapes at the first sign of trouble, Jesus will not abandon His flock. He gives His word as He lays down His life.

Our Shepherd offers genuine guidance. We don’t need to know the way to go. We just need to follow the voice of the Shepherd. Though our path is marked by unexpected twists and sheer drop-off cliffs, we have a leader that walks before and beside.

Our Shepherd offers genuine security. Our final haven is confidently certain. At times, the pathway to our Refuge will include sighting of wolves and devastating loss. But He will never let us go. He will carry us safely Home.

We don’t have to live very long before we discover the dangers of life as a sheep. How much more as a shepherd, with responsibilities for those under our care! One episode of the evening news can counter the peace of His comfort in our hearts. As sheep we are notoriously forgetful and fearful. We need constant reminders from His Word and the rest of the flock of His truth and His care. Remember today afresh, little sheep. You have a great and loving shepherd who will never let you go and guarantees your final rest in His care! Rejoice!

Lord,

Thank you for being our good shepherd. We feel the threats of destruction and loss all around, yet your Promises remain sure. Help us to rest in the assurance of your loving care, even as we fight against doubt and attack. We long for the day of our final rest beside the Living waters. Bring us safely Home!
Amen.

Questions for further reflection:

1. What is your view of the abundant life? Does it include the existence of wolves and attacks? How is the life Jesus offers here full of hope in the midst of danger?

2. What are the current threats and confusions you are experiencing along your journey as a sheep? How can you rest in the assurance of His commitments to you?

3. Are you an isolated member of the flock? Do you have sources of encouragement and accountability with other sheep? Does your community continually point you back to the Shepherd? If not, what is a first step you can take towards the protection of the community of God’s sheep?

Half-Way

I think today marks our 1/2 way point through our US trip. We're headed to the coast this weekend with the whole Bradford clan. Mom B is super excited to have all her chickadees in one spot for 4 days!

Here are some highlights of our trip so far:

Simple joy of playing in the grass...
















"I am Ellie belly!"



















Da's bday party















Fun at the Athens Arboretum
















Ms Linda and Mr. Mike let us ride their horses! Kathryn loved it!

On Heaven and Buggars

Is it Buggars? Or Boogers?

Anyhow, Kathryn was digging for some today when I encouraged her to find a tissue. We've discussed this many times before. Apparently the search is much more satisfying when you can really see what you're getting out. Then I made the profound comment, "I think that when we get to heaven, our noses won't have any buggars." Kathryn didn't skip a beat.

"Oh, they'll have buggars, mom. But in heaven, they will taste like ice cream!"

Hurray for Sleep!

Day #7 in Dallas and I'm delighted to report that we all slept through the night! No wide-eyed little ones poking my arm at 2am! Yeah!

Was the Opening ceremonies amazing? OK, I only made it through the initial artistic portion before I crashed, but my sister-in-law recorded it. It did feel a bit surreal watching it from 10,000 miles away--The "bird's nest" is 20 minutes away from our home!

Below is #2 in a series of devotionals...See this post for an explanation.

#2 Jesus Help Me Obey

Sending Kathryn off to Chinese pre-school each morning seems an adventure for which I always feel unprepared. Pep talks and negotiations pepper our conversation as we make the drawn-out 5 minute journey. First we send her sister Ellie to her classroom. Then we take the long flight of stairs to Kathryn’s class—and then come the tears. I can understand why she has had such a rough adjustment—none of her teachers or classmates speak English! Yet, we trudge ahead, seeking a entrée into our host culture for the hearts of our children.

The scene was no different this morning as we began our goodbyes. Her teacher caught me before I slipped out and informed me that all the students needed to wear a special uniform for the upcoming sports contest. She handed me Kathryn’s outfit—a red jumpsuit with 3 Teletubbies adorning the front. Kathryn was first unimpressed, then incredulous, and finally yelling “No, I won’t!” at the top of her lungs. I quickly excused us into the neighboring room to lay down the gauntlet. I had to agree that the outfit was ugly, but obedience becomes a different matter.

“Kathryn, mommy understands that you do not want to wear this outfit. And I know you feel afraid of the sports contest. But your teacher is asking you to put this on, and you need to obey your teacher. Your teacher would never ask you to do something unsafe. You need to trust her—even if you feel afraid—and obey.” We stopped and asked Jesus’ help for the seemingly impossible.

Did she emerge submissive and victorious? Well, sort of…some may deem begrudging obedience better than none at all! As I left I told her, “Kathryn, mommy is very proud of you. Jesus is proud of you too. You obeyed even though you didn’t want to. That’s what big girls do.”

As I departed, I began to wonder how often mommy acts like a big girl. The commands I would like to drill into Kathryn on the way to school—Do not fear; Be anxious for nothing; Be thankful in all things—are all areas of my struggle as well. Does Kathryn see me as one who obeys even when I am afraid? Do I choose thankfulness in the midst of uncertainty and trust over anxiety? Jesus did.

It feels belittling to Him to consider Jesus a model of obedience. Can One who commands the universe by His powerful Word stoop to submit Himself to another? Yet these stand as striking testimonies of the condescension of our Savior—our example and encourager in obedience.

Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done. (Luke 22:42-43)

Of course Jesus obeyed, you say. I mean He’s…Jesus! We know that Jesus did obey, and we may assume that there was no other option for Him. But if it was not a genuine possibility that He might disobey, then we might have a case against Him. Yet when He took on flesh, the Lord of the Universe opened Himself to the real possibility that He could, in fact, chose to sin. In order to relate to our struggle He does not need to have experienced sin. Rather, He truly knows the struggle—and He was victorious!

When I consider the commands of the Scriptures given by our Lord, He is not perched over me as an unfeeling authority removed from the struggles of life. Rather He stands next to me as a model and cheerleader reminding my heart of the joy of obedience. Whether wearing a Teletubbies outfit, running from fleshly temptations, or rejecting lies and fears that turn our hearts astray, our Lord delights in His children who trust and treasure Him enough to obey.

Our Lord,

When I consider the obstacles set before You in your earthly journey, I am humbled. You created the universe by your powerful Word, yet you submitted yourself to your Father’s will. Thank you for obeying that I might know you—and in knowing you, find strength and delight unto obedience. Strengthen my feeble heart to faithfully trust and obey you today.

Amen.

Questions for further reflection:

1. Spend some time today reflecting on the obedience of Jesus. What are the images the Scriptures portray as we consider Jesus as model for our walk of faith?

2. Which commands of Scripture do you find hardest to obey? How does your heart respond as you hear these commands spoken? Do you view God as a stern disciplinarian berating your failure, or a loving Father cheering you on to grow? How does the example of Jesus inform your thoughts?

3. Write out one specific application for the Lord’s guidance in your heart this week. In what area is He asking you to trust Him in the midst of uncertainty, show thankfulness in a troubling situation, or take a risky step of faith?

Breaking Jet Lag in Dallas

It's been 4 days since we arrived in Dallas. Jim's brother and sister-in-law have graciously offered to put us up in their beautiful home as long as we need, though it's somewhat conditional upon Jim's promise not to blare his amplifier as he's testing out his new guitar! No, he didn't bring the amplifier back with us, but a dear friend and guitar enthusiast brought his contraption over, just so that Jim didn't have to face the trauma of playing his guitar at normal human decibels.

We're not doing so great with jet lag. I know its only day 4, but this has been the roughest spell I remember with the girls. They are still waking up for big chunks (4 hours last night) in the middle of the night... and they don't seem to have sufficient reasoning skills at those hours. "You know, even though I can't sleep, I'm happy to let my mommy and daddy sleep...yes, I'll sit here alone in the dark so as not to disturb anyone else..." HA!

A few highlights thus far for the Wallace fam:
-walking barefoot in the soft grass
-yummy Mexican food...endless supply of non-stale tortilla chips and guacamole
-the girls getting lots of play and giggle time with cousins Emma and Alli!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

On Thursday I asked Ellie, "Did you know that on Saturday we're getting on a big plane and going to Texas?" "NO, momma, I didn't know that!" Ever since, she has been very on edge every time someone steps out the door of our house for fear they are not coming back.

But yes, in 45 minutes we leave for the airport. And I am SO unusually organized, I even have time to write a post about it! Now back to the mad-dash packing...

#1- Jesus, Where is Your Light?

I love many things about living as a foreigner in China. The spring cherry blossoms warm my hearts as the winter ice melts away. Yet, one aspect of the physical environment drives me crazy—the horrendous air quality. The China Lonely Planet guide equates breathing the air in our home city and smoking 70 cigarettes a day. One such hazy summer day when I could feel the particles in my lungs, my daughter Kathryn noticed a strange object in the sky.

“Mommy, what is that gray ball up there?”
“Oh, that? That’s the sun.”
“That’s silly, mommy (giggling)—That can’t be the sun.”
“Well, Kathryn, it’s hidden by a cloud of smog. If we could rise above, it would blind you to stare into it.”
“But mommy, the sun is stronger than the clouds. If that’s really the sun, then it should shine through the clouds so we can see it.”

As I reflect on her words, I realize that some days when my heart is like the Beijing air. The sun shines above me, yet somehow does not penetrate the cloudy smog within. Rather than gazing upward, my eyes are cast downward to the dim shadows of the daily grind and unexpected concerns. My fuzzy walk-by-faith vision fails to caught sight of His presence and purpose. Can you relate?

We find the theme of light skillfully woven all throughout the scriptures, as early as the first created wonder in the opening of Genesis when God separates light from darkness. The Old Testament saints knew God’s presence as a pillar of light in the wilderness, and the Psalms repeat the refrain—The Lord is my light. During the gloomy season of Israel’s disobedience and eventual exile, the Prophets offer continual rebuke to those follow the darkness of wicked nations. Yet, prophetic words of hope speak of the coming day when light will rise in darkness, and gloom will become like midday (Isa 58:10).

By the opening of the New Testament, John makes it clear that Jesus Himself fulfills the prophesied return of God’s light. Sadly, many in Jesus’ day missed His arrival. As John reports it: The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it (John 1:5). Even after Christ’s resurrection, Paul testifies about the same tension of faith for those who trust in Him: For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then, face to face (1 Cor 13:12). The grand story concludes in Revelation when the lamp of the Lamb replaces the light of the sun, with the promise that the Lord God will illumine them. (Rev. 22:5, italics mine).

Where do you and I fit into this grand biblical time line? We live between the first and second comings of Christ, longing to know in full the promises we now hold in part. As we walk the journey of faith, we experience days of blazing brightness, yet others of shadowy confusion. We trust we will enjoy complete illumination in His presence one day, but what about today?

To the darkened, weary soul, Jesus floods the shadows with His life-giving rays. I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life (John 8:12). As His words pour over my thirsty soul, I sense both hope for today and longing for another Day. My murky vision begins to regain focus as I cry out, It is You, Jesus! You are the Light! As we look to Jesus, we see the One who keeps us from tripping through the darkness today and guides the weary soul to a final rest in Himself.

Months after the dialogue above, I glance out my window overlooking more hazy, soupy skies. I see the path below sprinkled with people going about their daily lives, seemingly unaware of the gloom above. Are you among them? Look up! Kathryn was right. The Son is stronger than the clouds.

Our Lord,

You are our Light and there is no other. Yet, sometimes our hearts bear an overcast haze and we cannot pierce through the smog. We beg you to come and shine your light afresh in our hearts. Help us to look to you alone in the sunshine and the clouds.

Amen.

For further reflection

1. Up for a challenge? Using a concordance, read all the uses of the word ‘light’ traced throughout the Bible. You will find it a rich and fascinating study!

2. Spend some time in prayer today asking God to point out the cloudy areas of your life where His light has yet to penetrate. What fears, struggles or daily concerns cast your gaze away from Him?

3. As you have reflected this week, what fresh insight about Christ have you gained? What do you need to confess and ask of Him this week? Spend time in praise of God’s unfathomable wonders revealed in Christ, our Light.

Summer Reflections

A Disclaimer for the post below:
I am all for language learning! I have invested years in the Chinese language, and my children attend local Chinese pre-school. But on that long and arduous road to fluency, you must find things to laugh about!

In 3 days, we will leave for 5 weeks in the US. Though we have many reasons we want to go, we are also being "kicked out" due to visa restrictions surrounding the Olympics.

Over the summer I have been reflecting on looking for Christ in the daily rhythms of life. As a mom of young children, I don't usually have extended times with the Lord. Currently out of the baby phase, the ability to study and reflect is growing, yet I still find my heart plenty distracted by the sundry details of family life and living cross-culturally.

So when I say "looking for Christ in the daily-ness of life", it's something I feel I'm not great at doing. Despite this, I wrote a series of devos this summer as an attempt. Efforts at seeing His light shed upon the daily conversations and happenings of my mom-of-young-kids-in-China world. Eventually (and about the time the girls finished Chinese pre-school, and thus my "free time" was again swallowed up), I decided to give up on this task for now. But I though I might post them anyhow. Maybe when I get better at it, they would turn into a book of some kind and really bless people. But for now, I'm content with experimenting and growing a bit more myself! :)

Look for my first one above. I welcome your comments, edits, and wisdom!

The Benefits of Ignorance

Usually, when you think of living in a foreign culture, you imagine the stresses of having to live and communicate in a foreign language. But actually, there are many benefits of misunderstanding. Theirs, and yours! Let me illustrate.

You are with your children in a crowded public place. When approached by a particular older gentleman, your ever-astute and always-honest 5 year old says, "Mommy, that man is really ugly." You see, you are SO glad, he has no idea what she just said. I could give paint this scenario 100 times over! Oh, the embarrassment I have been spared!

You are in a taxi with a lead-footed driver. He seems annoyed by the mere fact that you are in his taxi and every red light is a personal affront. You lean over to your spouse and say, "I think he has major anger issues." You can say whatever you want, and he is clueless!

You are at a local market buying groceries. The local seller sees you and automatically pegs you as a stupid foreigner. Do you let this bother you, and stomp away in disgust? NO, you lean in and listen. She thinks she's going to get away with overcharging you, but she's actually letting you know the honest price. So see, assumed ignorance is working in your favor!

This time you are at another market with a friend buying clothes. The seller quotes you a price that you know is too high, but how high? You're not sure, but luckily, you and your friend can have a private consultation right in front of the lady!

You are at the post office with a package slip. There are 12 counters, labeled 1-12, and you have no idea which one is the right one. Do you cower in fear? NO, you don't even need to ask. Just approach an empty window and hold up your slip. They assume you don't speak a word. And so they take the slip for you to the appropriate window. Walla! Language ignorance, working for you. (OK, sometimes things don't go this smoothly. But sometimes, they do, all because you look like you don't know any better!)

Oh, and it also works in other countries, too! Where in one country you were the outsider, now you and your spouse share an insider language that is useful for private conversation in front of children and mother-in-laws! (Just kidding GG!)

Oh, the multiple blessings of ignorance! :)

I.O.U.S.

I recently heard someone share a 4 sentence prayer that I found so insightful (or at least it hits a bullseye for my heart) that I thought you might enjoy it too. The first letter of each of these verses from Psalms form the acrostic I.O.U.S., so I can actually remember it. It seems to hit so many of the things I tend to struggle with...maybe you too?

Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain. Psalms 119:36
Yes, Lord, help me to love your Word!

Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Thy Law. Ps 119:18
Lord, if you would not give me your eyes, I would miss all your treasures there!

Unite my heart to fear your name. Psalms 86:11
Teach me to gather my infinitely distracted heart to worship you!

(Here's the best one!)
Satisfy us in the morning with your lovingkindess, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalms 90:14
Lord, let me know a depth of your love that causes me to break forth in joyful song!

Haven't Seen the Girls in Awhile?

OK, GG, Nana, I know its been awhile since pictures. Here they are! This pic was taken before the first day of VBS this week. Yes, we have an international VBS here this week! The girls are loving it, but since it's an hour 20 minutes from our home, it's taking everything out of me! We're taking advantage of the new line 10 subway route, and it is clean and well air-conditioned. But 2 little girls on a crowded subway at rush-hour... I'm not complaining. OK, I suppose I am. But it's a fun opportunity for them.

You Know Your Kid is Growing Up in Asia when...

1. ...when your child checks every stall of an empty bathroom to count how many "sit down" potties and how many "squatties".

2. ...when she turns down carrot cake... (of the Asian variety--a fried taro root patty)

3. ...when at dessert time you say, "No, honey, one red bean bun is enough for today."

4. ...when your child's excuse for not sharing on the playground is, "But mom, they don't speak English!" ...and she's right.

5. ...when the rite of passage from childhood to maturity is the able use of chopsticks.

6. ...when, during a major holiday, you actually give your 3 year old a real lantern to parade around with, and a real lit candle inside it. What was I thinking?

7. ...when the summer ice cream flavor options are "green bean", "lechee fruit," "corn,"
and "pea".

8. ...when her pre-school classmates have make-up school days on Sundays, and they really all go.

9. ...when you hear them singing Chinese songs in their sleep.

10. ...when, on the way home from the grocery story, your child asks, "Mom, can we ride a rickshaw home this time?"

From the Mouths...

It's not that I sit around with a pad of paper waiting for my kids to say something funny. But it seems this week, there have been more 'quotables' than normal! :)

Quote #1
A few nights ago I gave Kathryn an alarm clock and told her to keep in on her dresser. Instead she put it by her bed, accidentally pushing some buttons, and reset the clock. I had just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to set the clock, so I was pretty frustrated and snapped at her. The next day I felt I should apologize so I told her, "K, I'm sorry, I was frustrated the clock got reset but mommy shouldn't have spoken harshly to you. Will you forgive me?"

"Well, mommy, don't you think there is another time you should apologize for yesterday?"

Quote #2
The other day I was asking Ellie if she wanted to start "school with mommy" in the Fall. (Not talking about formal schooling here, just purposefully teaching her the things I had already taught Kathryn by her age!) She said "no". Kathryn encouraged her, "Hey, Ellie, it's FUN! You get to spend special time with mommy and read fun books!" Ellie remained firm-- "no!" So I asked her, "Ellie, why don't you want to start school with mommy?"

"Because I do NOT want to turn into Kathryn!"

Quote #3
Tonight when I put the girls to bed, there was a goodie bag from a friend's party sitting on the dresser. When I turned to the leave the room, K said,

"Mommy, take that bag with you! There's temptation in there!"